Today a lot crossed my mind.
Thinking about the people who I admire so much, thinking how grateful i am that you exist. People who understand the reality. But some where, somehow your people were my big example. Especially when i was a child. Today i was trying to remember how that started and why. Always playing you, trying to understand you, honoring you and fell connected. Why was it like that? How did that start? It never changed, i just grew older, but in my heart i still feel a deep respect and admiration.
Was it because of my brown eyes, my brown hair? We are not connected, in Europe so many people have brown eyes. No relationship in blood, thats impossible. Well, it sure made it a lot more easy to play ‘Indian’ and refuse to play cowboy. My play was thati took care of the horses, leading them as a group to the water, and back (poor pony's), which wasn't always easy. As long as i remember i hated the rough cowboys. Even being very small somehow i must have known something about you way of respecting everything from nature. Like i, and i still do, feel connected with my little friends the insects. After al they were the first animals i met and studied as a child, so to me it is logical to respect them and feel grateful towards them.
It sounds ridiculous but for a longtime i had this funny private way of ‘reading’ people. Tried to imagine what kind of a cowboy somebody could have been in the past. Weak, strong, mean, stupid, honest, principles, feeling for others or losers. It helped, and was a way. That stopped, when i grew older.
I feel the need to tell you again that it feels like a very big honor to be able to talk here, with people who i admire so much. Never thought that would ever be possible. It is like a dream come true, a dream from my childhood. But is it yours too?
What does an European woman on a community where she doesn’t belong at all. ‘Talking’ such a lot, which is in your culture not usual. My feeling tells me that it is rather unusual to do, but it also says ‘tell them there is nothing bad about that’. ‘Tell them how we look at your people, how we look at the country which was called America. How we look at Obama’s choices’. I am not the only person here now who was amazed, no shocked that this man, his government really used the name of Geronimo. Which is a disgusting, disrespectful, insulting and whatan incredible choice of that man, he is supposed to be wiser. Geronimo was not a terrorist! In 2011 they still show so much disrespect, no lessons, it is really amazing.
But yes, there are also people here who say, what does it matter. Geronimo was a fighter, so…. It matters, and yes i care, a lot.
In my culture when we are invited somewhere at a house, or a party and we go there we bring something with us. Flowers (what i never understood, why my people like to watch a beautiful flowers dying in our house), chocolate, booze, wine or whatever. We bring something with us as a symbol of ‘thank you for the inviting me’.
This is a bit worrying me, feeling the need of giving you something but it is hard to think about what that would be. Because it was never possible, and now it seems possible. It took 40 years before it was possible to exchange words. Forgive me for being very enthusiastic and writing so much. If it is not good, please tell me. It is meant as a gift to you, sharing my thoughts from somebody in the Netherlands.
This afternoon i was sitting on the field where the horses walk and tried to remember when i realized for the first moment that Native people even existed. That is now a long time ago. We only know Gypsy’s and people who live in camps. But Native people we do not have. Going back in my memory i remembered that long time ago there was a movie on the television. It was about something about the first meeting with the New world. Perhaps i wasn’t able to read yet the translation, i was still very small, but it caught my eye and all my attention immediately. I don’t know why, but it seemed very realistic. On the movie was a man in half a metal harness riding on the field, on a horse. He made a lot of noise with all his equipment. Horses always shout in the Hollywood movies, but i suppose in reality this horse was not saying anything. The suit the man wore is not a very comfortable thing to wear, some metal around his legs, spurs and he had a shield in his hand. From that i remember. He rode upon a hill and there were some Aztecs on the other side. Both were amazed of what they saw. The Aztecs never saw a horse before, perhaps it was a white horse, many Spanish horses are white. Anyway they were impressed, as well as the man on the horse was surprised by the Aztecs. The man on the horse put his shield in front of him and there was an enormous shine of the sun in the metal of the shield. The Aztecs fell on there knees because they thought they saw a real God.
The man wanted the gold, and we all know what this conquistador and his people did after they met each other. What exactly happened after that shot of the harness and the sun i have forgotten, but that moment, that was impressive. Years later realizing that it was indeed like that. The conquistadores came for the gold, and killed for that without any respect and conscience.
The image of the sun which shined so brightly in the metal is something i never forgot. That light represented the gold, and as Dakod explained.. the greed of the people.
On our school they teach us about the land they called America. From what i remember on our schools they do teach the real story. Our people are taught that the land was stolen, and that so many people were killed and that our forefathers did terrible things. It is not the story what is wrong, it is the interpretation of people what can be different. But then the story ends.
My father was born in 1911. At that time there still were Native people living ‘free’. Geronimo just passed. My grandmother was a grown up in those days, she knew about the Native people and the white people who were stealing the land and people who tried to kill the soul. Those facts made me realize that this history was not from a real long time ago.
The people who organize things in my country or Belgium which have to do with Lakota people or other tribes here are so fake. White people dressed in strange clothing, behaving like bad actors and believing in something like to be enlightened or so. They are not an example, and they talk aboutyour culture and it seems like they steel to improve there onw lives.
It feels not all right that i, we thought and still think that the reservations were good. That it was a great compromise in sharing the land for the white and the black people and you. You were able to live your life, and share. But the reality is so different. Am i so naïve at my age?
Like the movie about the fishing. Looking at the movie i was interested, wow modern Lakota people who were teaching there children. The elders and the children. Singing, praying, thanking for this moment, not that i understand a word, but its my idea. But there on the back four men caught my attention… huh? Four man who look really scared, wearing the same costumes? Cannot be Lakota people. Are they police? So i stopped the movie and looked again. Wow, those man really look very scared, and yes the were police.
Stupid of me i honestly thought, or hoped, that they were there for sending away white man. Because my idea was that of course the white man are not allowed to fish there. White people fish for fun, not for food. You people fish for food, so that made good sense to me. Perhaps they came now so close to watch and to wish these people a good catch but there was so much tense. They and you live there and people must be used to Native rituals and life style. After all…
But… one of the elders was explaining a rule, constitution, or what….? What was happening there. There was something else going on, something unexpected happened. And i was wrong, very wrong. The police came to disturb, to tell the people that… they were not allowed to fish there. Sorry to say, but i had to turn it back again to believe what i saw there. This could not be reality, this .. but it was, and you all know it is.
Looking at this you tube movie, watching how the police disturbed the fishing and even took away the fish, first i thought ‘that cannot be true, or it must have happened long time ago’ Then i looked at the date, Friday 13th of may 2011 !
Wow. It upset me, and the young lady which said to the police that these people were not armed but they were so who wants to fight impressed me. The people holding up cards, what are they? Those papers which looked like a print with a drawing of feathers from the eagle. My God, people. Is that the reality! Wa
The police even took the fish!? Stealing it, in the name of some kind of law. NO !!! There is no law, all rules are made by something much stronger. Perhaps the policeman ate the fish themselves, with not any respect and make jokes about it. They do not say ‘thank you’ to the fish, they judge. That is stupidity, and yes, stupid laws. It shocked me. And this afternoon i had tears.
What a deep respect i feel for the people, how they responded, the fathers and the grandfather who stayed so calm, and could even still laugh. Those man and woman are strong, really strong. It is unbelievable to me. In my country we probably have the same kind of fishing rules, but we do not have the honor of having people here who are the first people who lived here. It is amazing, no shocking and it feels as a very big shame that is happens.
My country never had a soul, so we are not killing our soul like America does. America the big example for so many white and black people. The land which is stolen, and tries to kill the soul in stead of live together.
So this afternoon i fell sad and cried.. Thinking a lot about your lives. Feeling myself a spoiled white woman in another country.
The main difference between animals and humans is the brain. People use the brain to share information, to save history and to be able to do what we think is good. People create Gods, animals live by the rules of there specie, the rules of Mother Nature and stay themselves. Only few people on our earth live with both rules, they are balanced. Those people are our soul, you people are the soul of Mother Nature. But again, something has gone very wrong somewhere. What happened…
Please, can I introduce some of my friends here?
They teach me to trust even being diffrent species, follow the heart.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ACTvMijp2M